I was visiting Syracuse Aquarium in Jamesville to buy food for our pond fish. My man Chris there didn't know I'd resigned in early April. He asked if I would be writing about the recent misadventures of Syracuse University basketball player Fab Melo -- booking name: Fabrico P. de Melo. For those who have fallen behind on the Orange crime blotter, the seven-footer was arrested this past weekend on an allegation of domestic violence against a young woman and her car's turn signal.
City Court Judge James Cecile released de Melo on his personal ridiculousness. Meanwhile, Central New York was left wondering why the big fella won't snatch balls off the glass with half the savagery he showed -- allegedly -- vandalizing his sweetie's ride.
But enuffo of Fabrico.
When I gently pointed out to Chris that I hadn't been in the paper for two months, he acknowledged that he doesn't read the Post-Standard every day, as if that's something to apologize for. It was mere coincidence that the last column of mine he saw was March 28, my final column in the P-S.
"I use the paper to wrap fish," Chris noted, not being facetious. "And I saw your column there."
I don't mean to sound, well, koy, but it's beyond fitting that the newspaper containing my final column was used, quite literally, as fish wrap. Life imitates cliche.
Anyway, I'm guessing Post-Standard readers have all kinds of practical uses for the paper besides dropping it in the recycling bin unread. Drop me a line, and let me know what they are!
