You know what they say about guys with big uvulas

Not to brag or anything, but if you had a massive uvula, wouldn't you want to shout it from the rooftops?

This past Monday I had a medical consultation for an upcoming visit to a sleep clinic. It was here that I learned my uvula -- the floppy bit that hangs down in the back of the throat and is responsible for basically nothing -- is so big that it might be obstructing my airway at night, causing sleep apnea. 

"You have an enormous uvula," the lady doctor gushed.

See, guys. Size really does matter.

Closely examine the image of my uvula at left. Impressive, isn't it? In normal people you'd see space between the uvular tip and the back of the tongue. But that's not how I roll. See how my uvula, at least the part of it's that visible (God only knows how far the thing extends into my gullet), just hangs there like a slumbering sea cucumber? It might have to be surgically reduced or removed, which is sad because I'm proud of my uvula and loathe to bow to society's expectations of what a properly sized uvula should look like. But I do like to breathe.

 I'll have more later on this important topic, enough to make you gag.  

Meanwhile, if you have a story about your uvula, this would be the time to share.